January 7, 2019

• Repost in Memory of Bricker59

  This is the post that started the friendship between Bricker and me. It was originally posted on Xanga in April, 2009 and was intended to be a parody of his writing. We read and subscribed to each other's blogs before then, but this took us to the next level and we became good friends... especially after I actually sent him some cookies. RIP Thom - you are missed.

  April 1, 2009

  Why I Can't Marry Bricker (Poor Thing) - [WARNING: Naked Art]

  I made a grave mistake yesterday. I revealed too much of my true self on xanga and Bricker59 fell in love with me (poor thing).

  

  It may have been my tousled, glossy red locks.

  
  (That's not really me; I have bangs.)

  It might have been the twinkle in my large, piercing blue eyes.

  
  (That's not really me; I have two eyes.)

  Maybe it was my sexy neon blue underwear (which looks great on me).

  
  (That's not really me; I don't have the matching bra.)

  Or perhaps my irresistible Rubenesque curves.

  
  (That's not really me; my hair is shorter.)

  It could have been any of those things, but it wasn’t. It was this:

  
  (My decadent banana split cake.)

   

  And these:

   

  
  (My delicious chocolate chip cookies.)

  He asked me to marry him and I had to disappoint him (poor thing). I hope he had enough beer in his refrigerator to mend his broken heart.

  

  (Yeah, that probably would have been enough.)

  You’ll always have a special place in my heart, Bricker, but it’s for the best that we stay apart. Our combined magnificence would be too much for xanga.

  

   

  And besides, there’s this guy I really like.

   

  
  (Isn't he dreamy?)

  I guess I’m just a sucker for long, flowing black locks, manly shoulders and a piercing eye. I’m sure you understand.

   

  • 2:11 pm
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