January 5, 2019
-
There's one more star in the sky...
I lost a friend yesterday. He spent his summers as a teen working at a camp in Canada and formed a lifelong bond with his fellow workers. They knew him as Tripper. Those of us who knew him from the heyday of Xanga called him Bricker. On Facebook, he went by his given name, Thom Newnham. Thom died of cancer. He was a heavy smoker and developed lung cancer which was not diagnosed until it had metastasized in his brain.
I wrote to him after his diagnosis and told him I was angry, at his doctors for not diagnosing the lung cancer when he was vomiting blood a year before, and at him for smoking, and at cancer for being the serial killer that it is. Here was his reply to that:
“You can be mad at me for smoking, but by God I LOVED every single cigarette I ever smoked.”
That is quintessential Bricker right there.
Thom had two daughters whom he loved with all of his heart who took good care of him these last few months. Like all parents, he had moments of hurt feelings, anger and frustration over the years, but his love ALWAYS shone through every word he ever wrote or said about them. His “Legshaver” and “Cuddlebug” meant the world to him. I hope they know that. I know that I will always be grateful for the last words I ever received from him.
“I love you my Vi...very, very much. Thom”
I love you, too Thom. This world was a better, funnier, crazier place because you were in it. Your humor, your storytelling, your friendship and the love you had for your family and friends made a true difference. I’m glad I said these things to you before today.
Rest in peace, my dear friend.
Love, Your Vi
I will be reposting a couple of my old Xanga posts about Thom. One was how our friendship started, and one was an online letter I wrote to him when he was in the hospital a few years ago. I’d forgotten about the second one until I ran across it while looking for the other one. They both offer glimpses into the personality that made Bricker so popular on Xanga and, I suspect, in the real world as well.
Comments (7)
You were his Vi and he loved you and looked so forward to your packages and bragged you up like none other, I'm so grateful we all found one another here on xanga. We all loved him and he will be missed. Praying for his girls.
I am so sorry about the loss of your friend. Love you! Katy
This is a wonderful tribute. I hope his girls know how many people cared about him. He was one of a kind - with a wicked sense of humor. All those girls (poor things) will just have his memory instead of his attention...
A blessed journey for a blessed soul
Thank you for posting about him. I do remember him. I wasn't sure until I read the names he called his daughters, then I remembered. It's hard to lose friends.
PS My oldest son-in-law feels the same way about cigarettes. He doesn't have cancer yet, but he does have a bad smoker's cough. He must have a strong constitution because he's 78, not too much younger than me. My daughter is 59, so quite a bit younger.
Just saw this -- I'm so sorry to hear that he is gone -- as well as how he must have suffered! He was a Xanga favorite, and his girls were the loves of his life. This is a great tribute!