July 4, 2018

  • Life, death, and all the stuff in between

    Hi, friends - it's been a long time! I know I've been neglecting my family, friends and social media lately, but there have been reasons. Valid reasons, even!

    LIFE: So, first of all, yes I am still alive. I wondered at times how much longer I would be among the living. I got my affairs in order the best I could. There's still some paperwork that needs to be done, but I'm going to start working on that this week. My will and powers of attorney were updated and a medical directive signed, witnessed and notarized. Just in case.

    IN BETWEEN: I've undergone many rounds of blood work, an ultrasound and an MRI. Luckily, the MRI finally pinpointed why I haven't felt well for the past three years and why I was completely out of energy the past few months before I had to do a liver biopsy. I was literally at the point that I couldn't get through a day without putting my pajamas on and going back to bed multiple times. I couldn't eat and most of the time had no appetite anyway. I dropped 40 or 50 pounds and was living on Jello, applesauce and bananas. My skin was a sickly, pasty hue and I had huge dark circles not just under my eyes, but all the way around them. I ran a constant low-grade fever that often spiked and gave me violent chills and, on one occasion, spectacular vomiting. This went on for months. The MRI showed a slight swelling of the common bile duct. I FINALLY got in to see a gastroenterologist and was immediately sent to the hospital. I spent three days in the hospital last week, with a surgical procedure on the second day. My bile duct was packed with gallstones, some of them the size of marbles. My gallbladder was removed in 2015, so these stones had most likely been there for the past three years as I got sicker and sicker. I should have gone to the emergency room a month or two ago like my daughter kept urging and my sister kept plotting, but I'm a stubborn, tough old broad. The GI doctor even said I'm tough to have suffered those huge stones for so long. Living with pain is just part of being a woman. We learn with our first menstrual cramps to ignore the pain and keep on doing what needs to be done because the world doesn't care about all of our "little aches and pains." That's why so many women die of heart attacks.

    Anyway, I'm home from the hospital and feeling better than I have in a long time. I'm still tired and need to rest often, but my energy is slowly returning as my liver enzymes slowly return to normal. It'll take a little while to get back to where I can do what needs to be done around the house, run all the errands, do all the shopping, walk the dog and get back to geocaching. I was on the verge of hanging up my car keys, but I'm back to driving now. I can't tell you how much I love and appreciate my daughter and two sisters for taking care of me the past month.

    DEATH: I have an elderly friend who lives a few blocks from me. I met her in 2011, on the day of her husband's funeral. I wrote about that meeting here: LINK  She is dying and she's pretty angry that it's taking so long. I've been going over nearly every day and visiting her, sometimes taking her to the bank or the bakery or the vet or just for a drive, and when she's having a really bad day and is completely out of patience I take her dog home with me for a couple of hours so she can rest without him jumping up to cuddle with her and inadvertently hurting her. She got a neighbor to take her to the hospital to visit me last week, and she'd even gone out to her beautiful gardens and cut a bouquet of flowers for me. I was so touched. She had a crisis the other day and is now in a hospital bed in her living room, on oxygen full time, and being pumped full of morphine. It won't be too much longer before she finally gets her wish and dies. She asked me once why God wasn't "doing His job" and letting her die. I told her it's because God was doing His job and blessing me through her. Being able to sit with her and talk was like talking to my mother before Alzheimer's (except my mother didn't have quite the magnificent range of cussing as my friend).

    So there you have what I'm willing to share of the past nine months or so in a nutshell. I've been sick and am finally getting better. My friend has been dying (and "taking too damn long") and she's finally getting worse. The circle of life continues.

Comments (12)

  • I am so grateful they finally figured out what was going on, I can't believe it took them so long. I know you're going to feel better and better. Looking forward to our next road trip.

  • I love you! Glad you are finally getting to feel better!

  • Welcome back. We've missed you.

  • I know you are tough! Tenacity is as much a virtue as patience!! Now I hope you got the surgeon to give you those gall stones so you could make them into some awesome earrings... I know some people who could do that for you! AND you are looking much better. I hope your neighbor gets her wish. July 5 is the anniversary of my father's "Independence Day". I plan to celebrate.

  • I'm glad you are feeling better. I didn't even know you were sick. I haven't had much energy lately, but I think it's a combination of the heat and my age. My mother had jewelry made of her gallstones. It's really pretty and people don't know what kind of stones they are. Mother used to say it was the most expensive jewelry she had. Dying slowly is so hard. I am very thankful that my husband died quickly.

  • So glad to hear you finally found out what was wrong and got it fixed. A human being can only stand so much pain. Continued best wishes for your recovery. Hugs Carol

  • Good Grief Mornin Glorie...Praying your strength and stamina return to normal as soon as possible...Prayers for your friends peaceful departure also. Geesh, this gettin old stuff sux! ilym

  • So glad you’re finally getting better. It’s been a long haul.

  • Goodness, Vi -- I'm so sorry you've been so ill, and glad that you have finally gotten rid of those pesky gallstones that were left behind! Do feel better soon, so you can be out and about, geocaching, etc. I've been wondering about you recently -- were you still geocaching, were you planning a trip to visit your mom again, and so forth. I'm sorry, too, to read about your friend. Meantime, I had a series of operations on my eyes and face last fall, with one more to go, and renovated 3 bathrooms last month!

  • Oh my. Glad you're better but hope you can work through the pain of the friend dying too. God bless you with new hope and fresh courage.

  • @ata_grandma: I've never heard of making jewelry out of gallstones. That's pretty unique!

    I think the heat makes me sluggish too. Life is just not tame, is it? Blessings to you and may God give you long life and healthy years!

  • I'm sorry I havent been keeping up with our correspondence well but you certainly had a good excuse not to! So sorry for this trial but very glad that you found out what was wrong and had the courage to do something about it. God bless your recovery and give you many more years of productive and adventurous life!!! <3
    love,
    Rhonda

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