January 21, 2015

  • Looking for Pen Pals

    I usually avoid making New Year’s resolutions and instead focus on a few achievable goals for the coming year. One of my goals for last year was to not eat any fast food hamburgers in 2014. I failed that one within about ten days. I then amended that goal to no more than one fast food hamburger per month. I’m not sure how long it took me to fail the amended goal, but I did become more aware of the amount of fast food I eat and when I eat it (usually when I’m in the middle of a busy day of appointments and errands and only have a short time to grab lunch).  If Culver’s would just go away and Arby’s would show up in our area, I know I’d do much better with the hamburger goal. I made other goals last year; some I achieved and some I failed, but I feel that I’m better for at least making an attempt at self-improvement.

    This year, I wasn’t going to make any goals or resolutions; I thought I’d just keep plugging away at last year’s goals and that would be enough to keep me busy. And then one day I was writing a letter to my uncle (well, technically I was typing the letter because these days when I write a letter by hand it must be followed by a pain pill) and it occurred to me that I don’t write letters to people very often anymore. I’ve fallen into the habit of keeping in touch with people through Facebook and email, even my uncle, whose email address I don’t know and who isn’t on Facebook. I was sending messages to my cousin on Facebook and asking him to pass them on to his father for me. How pathetically lazy is that? I know I could call, but I get anxiety attacks about calling people. I worry that I’m calling at an inconvenient time, or that the person I’m calling doesn’t like to talk on the phone (like me), or that I’ll get caught up in catching up and forget the reason for my call and have to call again right after hanging up. I know I’m neurotic, but feel free to point it out in the comments.

    So anyway, I was writing this letter to my uncle and the thought occurred to me that I used to write a lot of letters to family and friends and I almost never write real, physical letters anymore except my weekly missive to my mother. Maybe I should set a goal to write more letters to more people this year. No, it should be more than a goal, it should be a resolution! And so I made my first New Year’s resolution in many years. I will need some dedicated pen pals to help me keep my resolution; friends who will also resolve to write and mail physical letters to me. Imagine the fun of finding a letter from a friend in your mailbox instead of a 12-word text in your phone’s message box or a five-sentence email in your inbox; a real letter you have to unfold and hold in your hand, or a greeting card with a handwritten message inside, or a postcard from some cool or obscure or weird place. Wouldn’t that be fun to find tucked in among the bills and flyers and catalogs?

    I’m pretty sure I can count on a few of my Xanga and Facebook friends to step up to the plate and be my pen pals. It would be really fun if we had a sort of circle of pen pals with everyone writing to everyone else once a month. Is anyone interested in doing this with me? Will you be my pen pal?

     

Comments (18)

  • I will be your pen pal little sis! :) Remember when we used to write notes backwards? Those days are over but I will start writing real letters and notes again! I really enjoyed getting your Mom's book and the note from you! Love you!

  • Melinda: The comments you made about your phone-avoidance neurosis hit close to home! As a reporter, I always fought against deadlines that required me to make phone calls. I always met those deadlines, but only just in most cases until my editors started to fudge my deadlines. (I eventually figured that out too!) I felt such relief each time my interviews were finished and all I had to do was write the story. Writing was always the easy part. I was paranoid that the person or persons I had to call would refuse to speak to me or be rude, especially because I was a reporter. Honestly, that only happened a couple of times out of who knows how many hundreds of calls I made in 20 plus years. I was slightly more comfortable as a marketing writer, since the people I most usually interviewed were colleagues. I also don't like to chat on the phone, except with my kids/grandkids. It's strangely comforting to discover that I'm not alone with my paranoia!

  • Good idea . I believe it is what I already do !
    Love
    Michel

    • Michel, I am not at all surprised that you write letters. It's sad that writing letters is becoming a lost art in America.

  • I'm game! I love "snail mail" as my mother used to call it.

    • Thank you, Crystal! If you haven't moved recently, I have your address, I'm just having a little trouble reading my handwriting and making out your last name. Are the middle letters "_ar_" or "_au_"?

  • I would do say yes, but I'm afraid I wouldn't follow through with it. For one thing I am not sure how to write a letter on computer and then print it. If I wrote it by hand, you wouldn't be able to read it. Since my stroke I have trouble writing legibly. I share your phobia about telephones. So does my husband but his is much more severe. So he drafts me to do all his calling for him. I've tried telling him (without much success) that I'm his wife, not his secretary. Hope you can find some penpals. I had a friend who for many years shared a group letter with some other friends who all knew each other. They called it a round robin letter.

    • I was pretty sure the "round robin" is what I was thinking of, but I've never been part of one before. You should get one of your grandchildren to set up your printer for you and show you how to print a document. My husband set up our new printer and it took most of a day to get it to work with my laptop - and he knew what he was doing. So frustrating!

  • Of course I'll be your pen pal -- in fact note #2 is already sitting on my desk waiting to be mailed!

  • Ooh! Count me in! I would love to do this - I'm always excited when something other than a bill or mass mailing shows up in my box!!

    • Awesome! I was sure you'd go for this!

      On a different subject, I was thinking maybe we women can all get together and go out to dinner before Wine and Canvas.

  • I would love to be pen pals with you. :)

    • I've gone through all my Xanga addresses and I can't believe I don't have yours! I wish we had private messaging. I can see your email address on this comment, so I'll send you and email that you can reply to with your mailing address.

  • I don't know you but have read you and learned about you from Val. I love writing letters. Mostly they are hand written. If I find your address on the dashboard or somewhere I will write and you can decide if you want to reply.
    Hugs and smiles, Char

    • I just read a couple of your xanga posts and I would love to be pen pals with you! I can see your email address on your comment, so I'll email you my mailing address and you can reply with yours. Thank you for doing this! I now have eight pen pals, so I'm hoping to find at least one piece of personal mail in my box at least once a week.

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